The Emotional Lives of Leaders

It's not unusual to feel emotional at work. After all, work is a big part of our lives and can be a source of stress and satisfaction. But what do you do when your boss or peers don't react as you had envisioned? How do you learn to understand what is happening when you feel overwhelmed by emotion?

One key is to remember that your thoughts generate your feelings. It means that if you're feeling angry, sad, or inferior, you believe specific thoughts about the situation.

If you learn to question these thoughts, you may find that they are pure fiction. When you see this, the corresponding emotions will begin to dissipate. It leaves you in a much better position to meet the challenges of your leadership role.

Leaders are often expected to keep calm under pressure and maintain a stoic exterior. But the reality is that leaders are human beings, too, and they experience a full range of emotions just like everyone else.

One way to develop an emotional regulation skill set is to become more aware of your thoughts and how they create your feelings.

It's important to remember that thoughts are not facts; they are simply interpretations of reality based on our worldviews and experiences.

Just because we have a thought doesn't mean it's true! So, for example, if I'm feeling anxious about an upcoming presentation, I might think, "I'm going to screw this up." But just because I have that thought doesn't mean it's going to happen.

I will likely do fine once I get up there and start talking. So why did I have that thought in the first place? It's likely because I'm putting pressure on myself to be perfect, and my mind is conjuring up all sorts of worst-case scenarios to protect me from disappointment or failure.

Once I realize my distorted thinking, I can challenge and reframe those negative thoughts in a more realistic and positive light. Doing this regularly will help me develop incredible emotional regulation skills and become a more effective leader overall.

While it's perfectly normal to feel emotional at work from time to time, leaders need to develop the ability to regulate their emotions to stay effective despite challenging circumstances.

One way to create this skill set is by becoming more aware of your thoughts and how they contribute to your feelings. Remember, just because we have a thought doesn't mean it's true!

We can learn to question our negative thoughts and reframe them in a more positive light. In that case, we'll be well on our way towards becoming emotionally intelligent leaders who can navigate even the most difficult situations with grace under pressure.